While Nerve brings us the Twenty Sexiest Ugly People, we thought we'd compile our own little list.

What is a "taboo sexy" person, you ask? That would be someone for whom you guard a secret flame that you would never, ever own up to. Someone generally regarded as repulsive, repugnant, or any other "r" adjective that connotes distaste. The following is a testosterone-heavy Top 10 list compiled by Your Editrixes, with a little help from their friends:

1. Antonin Scalia

I will start this out by saying that this is totally not mine, but a friend of ours is adamant that Scalia's superior arguing skills–ultra-conservative views aside–counteract his age and beastliness. Overturn my precedent, baby.

2. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Especially in light of recent events, this is an admittedly tacky choice, but hey, we're tacky people. "Ahdmadinejad's girl" is not a title we covet, and we certainly wag our fingers at his blatant corruption and human and civil rights abuses, but there is something weirdly sexy in those intense brown eyes.

2. Sacha Baron Cohen as "Bruno"  

Sacha Baron Cohen as Sacha Baron Cohen is understandable. He may push the envelope a little too far at times, but what's not to love about a Cambridge-educated, English-accented comic? But as Bruno, his gay Austrian alter-ego, the choice becomes questionable. Whatever. He's still cute.

3. Ann Coulter

Ann Coulter is the personification of "bitch." When I see her on TV or on the cover of one of her horrible books with her fake boobs and her racist comments I really want to smack her. Yet, along with all that is the weird appeal of someone with such a shamelessly strong will and refusal to take shit that pushes our buttons.

4. Larry David

On Curb Your Enthusiasm, he's portrayed as self-centered and obnoxious, not to mention balding. But, alas, he makes us laugh.

5. Humbert Humbert

All we're saying is that we kinda understand Lolita on this one. What's not to say we too wouldn't fall for a handsome, foreign, well-spoken pedophile?

6. Pete Doherty

So he's a drug addict and riddled with Courtney Love's VD. He's damn good looking, in that dirty English rocker way.

7. Spock

In the typical fashion of our time, with each movie or TV show remake the actors become better looking. The new Star Trek is case in point. Zachary Quinto as Spock? More GQ model than extraterrestrial.

8. King Edward VIII

Eddy numero 8 was a womanizer, throne abdicator, fascist supporter, Hitler acquaintance–rumor has it Adolf wanted to reinstate him to the throne to make for a fascist England. Basically he sucked. Yet he retains that English charm in all those Welsh trappings…

9. Lord Byron

Ah, Lord Byron, one of literature's most notorious figures. A huge womanizer (and manizer), rumor has it he kept locks of all his lovers' pubic hair. Blehh. But fact is, he was sexy. And with verse like that…

10. Anna Wintour

While many are awed, intimidated, or terrified by this woman with all her divorces spalshed over Page 6, few actually like her. She may come across as an ice queen lacking all humanity, but she has built an empire and a legend, and has that chic steely appeal that we love. Vogue might be done, or done with her, but when her throne is filled she can always come cry on our shoulder.

Got $.02 you'd like to add? (We know you can spare it, even in these times.) We'd love to hear your freakish fetishes.

Uighers Having Fun

While something like revolution boils in the smoke-filled streets of Tehran (Prez O will be addressing the issue at 5 PM tonight) and the nouvelle administration wrings its hands over health care, we bring you what you probably didn't catch in the Post this past week:

We sadly won't be getting any Uighur next door neighbors, but the Uighurs seem ok with it.

Next up, Dick Cheney takes "bastard" to yet another level (amazing how he can do that even when not in office!), as reported by Politico. In criticizing Obama's "weak on terrorism" stance, it seems that Cheney is suspiciously inviting of another terrorist attack, just to prove he's right.

The Audacity of Nepotism: George Obama (it even sounds weird)–Obama's half bro–has just signed a book deal with Simon & Schuster to publish a book about his life struggles, called Homeland. These struggles are eventually resolved through community organizing, says Gawker. Guess they aren't so different.

And finally, as if the Harley-raring, leather-jacket sporting bikers that flooded the DC streets on Memorial Day weren't enough: this week the naked bikers rolled through town. BYT documents, so you don't have to.

I seem to make vendettas with the strangest of people. Latest on this list is Jill Sorenson, romance novelist featured in the June issue of Cosmo.

A Romance novel by a newby who just got a taste of the dark side, by Yours Truly.

Recently I wrote a post for the other blog I work on, Uptown Literati. It was for the monthly Front of Book feature, in which I look at each magazine's monthly book page and pick or pan their recs.

And seriously, what the hell is Cosmo and the Romance genre made for if not being a bit of a snarky-ass bitch?

Well, apparently Jill Sorenson took a bit of offense. She wrote a post on her blog in response to mine,  beginning with the remark "Coming out of lurk to share the latest wrong against Romance!" Jill, Jill, Jilly–I am by no means calling your book a wrong against Romance. I am complaining about any book that includes the words "pant," "gasp," "heave," "suck," "fondle," and "caress" on the same page. Page after page.

Sorenson writes "I believe this is just another case of the old “all romance is trash” mentality." Uh, yeah, you believed right.

(She also pointedly mentions that the title of the book, Crash Into Me, which I mock relentlessly, wasn't her idea, but she "thinks it's a great one." …?)

Believe me, I'm all for the elicit content in books. But IMHO (teehee), it's so much better when it's subtle and leaves something to the imagination, or when it's surrounded by an engaging story and beautiful writing before and after the clothes come off.

But back to my new friend Jill. One of the commentators wrote that "I think anyone who would read that who reads romance wouldn’t take it seriously," and Jill agreed. OK, I know that any Romance writer, and their readers, have to take themselves and their books somewhat seriously, or else the whole fantasy is moot. No one can  really buy in to a story that is acknowledged as being frivolous. But seriously, how the hell can you write something like that and not reasonably expect this kind of reaction??

Sorenson finishes by writing that "Fair or not, sometimes negative press comes with the territory. I’m kind of flattered by the attention! Another new author first." Gotta hand it to her. Her novel may be trashy, but it's been published in a national monthly magazine that gets read by millions. She will inevitably make bank with this one and a string of more like it–same basic plot, different paper-thin premise. Which is certainly more than I can say.

Lick you later,

Your Pretentious and Snarky Editrix, Allie

Your lovely and stylish Editrixes have a fun game they like to play. It's called "what is the most heinous thing in this store?"

The rules are simple. The players-one against one-scour the store for the most wretched, hideous, vomit-inducing articles of clothing they can find, and make the other try them on. The winner is determined by number of strange looks received in the dressing room upon emerging in aforementioned heinous ensembles.

See if you can guess which stores we frequented, which outfits were part of the game, and which were just…us.

It's heroin chic, without the heroin!

I’m sure our readers are well aware of the economic meltdown that’s occurring throughout the world and in the US. The reports are dire and the predictions for recovery are dipping lower than the neckline of J-Lo’s Versace dress during the 2000 Grammys. Nevertheless, whether you’re of the right or left persuasion, I’m sure we can all come together and appreciate a playlist of songs to blast as the financial sector goes to hell in a hand basket.

Music for the recession:

1. You Never Give Me Your Money- The Beatles
“”You never give me your money. You only give me your funny paper, and in the middle of negotiations, you break down”
I guess John and Paul were psychics, because this scenario seems to be repeating all too often lately.

2. Rich- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
“She slipped down a rot drink/Unzipped, she doesn't exist/ So unloved/ I took them standing up/ So stuck up/ Rawr/ I'm rich . . .”
The lyrics are sexually charged and a little unsettling. Is the woman she speaks of a consenting partner or a victim to a “rot drink” from a shady character? Who knows. One thing for sure if that the ambiguity surrounding the situation isn’t dissimilar to what’s going on in the world today.

3. 10 Dollar- M.I.A.
“What can I get for a ten dolla'? Anything you want”
Well, maybe in a third world country?

4. Everyday I think of Money- Stereophonics
“Everyday, I dream of money. Everyday, I think of running”
Clearly this was excerpted from an executive from AIG’s journal.

5. Money Folder- Madvillan
“And just like he said, I coulda told ya MF, the holder of a boulder, Money Folder”
MF- as in, the motherfuckaz in Congress who neglected to oversee the financial meltdown?

6. Baby, You’re a Rich Man- The Beatles
Ironic. No?

7. Rich Girls- The Virgins
“We'll walk around/ Pretending we're all grown up/ Hey, rich girls!/Well can you tell me why/ You're so stuck up?/and act like you're so down”
This song was written in 2007. I wonder what happened to those girls….

8. Money- The Rolling Stones
“The best things in life are free/ Look I'll give 'em to the birds and bees/ want money (that's what I want)”
Oh Mick, you’re not the only one.

9. Money Honey- Lady Gaga
“Thats m-o-n-e-y…so sexy”
Maybe that’s why so many women find men like Rupert Murdoch attractive.

10. Penny Lane- The Beatles
“Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes/Four of fish and finger pies/ In summer, meanwhile back”
These lyrics are like unregulated derivatives. No one knows what the fuck they’re about.

11. You Stole My Money Honey- The Stereophonics
“You stole my money honey/ You're cold your blood's stopped running/ And know you're buying your new life/Can't help but find you funny/The clothes you wear are something/You made your whole life boasting lies”
Enough said.

12. It’s All Gonna Break- Broken Social Scene
“We've got to get/out of here/why are you always………Its been and it settles down and fights to love/Its all gonna break.”
Kind of like how our economy inevitably did.

13. Money- Pink Floyd
“Money, get away/Get a good job with good pay and you’re okay/Money, it’s a gas”
Tell this to the 9.8% of Americans who are currently unemployed.

14. Sweetest Girl (Dollar Bill)- Wyclef
“See I’mma tell you like you told me/Cash Rules everything around me/Singin’ dollar dollar bill yall (dollar, dollar bill yall)/Singin’ dollar dollar bill yall(dollar, dollar bill yall)”
Why only a dollar?

15. Everything’s Just Wonderful- Lily Allen
“I wanna get a flat I know I can't afford it/It's just the bureaucrats who won't give me a mortgage,/Well it's very funny cos I got your fucking money/And I'm never gonna get it just because of my bad credit”
Who knew a hard-partying British chanteuse could speak for the common folks?

In the words of Metric (whose concert your lovely Editrixes have spent their last remaining $$ to attend, next week at the 9:30 club): "money is a sick muse."–Auntie A

The other night your lovely Editrixes were with their girls at the Black Cat in DC for the Razzmatazz dance party. We kindly requested the DJ play Ida Maria's "Oh My God."

"Oh my god! Someone was supposed to bring Ida Maria and she didn't!" he exclaimed. "I just listened to her! I thought, oh, another Kate Nash, Lily Allen, but she's awesome!"

That's a fact. I personally hate when people lump together female alternative pop singers like Kate Nash and Lily Allen, because they have very different styles. Just because you're female doesn't mean you're the interchangeable. They all have distinct styles and personalities. And Ida Maria is from Norway, which automatically makes her cool.

(Luckily Auntie A had "Oh My God" on her trust IPod, which the DJ happily plugged in to his amps. We danced away on the stage with our new hipster friends and all was well.)

Ida Maria is by no means underground at this point. Her (really awesome) video for "I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked" has over 1 mill views. But the whole "Fortress Around My Heart" album is really great and deserving of fanhood. It's kind of ADD, kind of quirky, very upbeat and danceable. Ida Maria's smoky voice is a nice contrast. Other tracks I love include "Forgive Me" (sample lyric: "I call you up to say I love you, you only call me when you're drunk") and Keep Me Warm, a slow ballad (sample snatch: "Pour myself a cup of coffee full of sober nights, cause nicotine and coffee are  my friends in this fight"). "Queen of The Night" is another good one–never did the words "I'm lonely forever" sound so joyful!

"Oh My God" is THE song of summer, for freaking out on the dance floor, blasting in the car with the windows down, and playing on repeat when you can't find a job and you just need a cure for your life. Maybe Ida can't give you one, but at least you have someone to scream with.

"Been goin' through my laundry, Carla?" "Salope!!"

Buy me a drank?

Lots of things happened this past week in the District and the nation, most of which are very recession-y. Obama promised 600,000 jobs (could I get one? Kthx.). The IPhone is now a mere $99 (could I get one? Kthx.). Sonia Sotomayor’s on crutches. Undoubtedly karmic retribution for being such a racialist.

And some interesting things, too.

Michelle, ma belle. In some photos, first ladies Michelle and Carla seem to be having a ball. In others, not so much.

I’ve been waiting for this one for years: The Real World D.C.. I for one cannot WAIT to spy the token characters (bitchy girl, flaming mo, hot and frequently angry black dude) around town.  Let the trashy hot tub scenes commence!

For those who are bored and want fantasize about hipster summer fun, browse through these photos of Brightest Young Things band camp in D.C. Nothing like a summer day of Twister, beer, inflatable pool toys, and electric guitars by the pool.

Somewhat random: I just found this trendy graphic designer’s blog, and she is awesome. Her name is Nubby Twiglet.

And, finally, D.C. Craig’s List “Are They Serious?” Ad of the Week:

“JEWISH EGG DONOR NEEDED by LOVING JEWISH COUPLE $20,000+ ALL EXPENSES PAID not an agency

Reply to: lovingjewishcouple@yahoo.com”

Further down is their list of requirements, including “Jewish with a biological mother who was born Jewish,” “ Highly intelligent with high IQ, SAT Scores & GPA (Please Include Scores),” and “Attractive.” Those who are Christian, dumb, and ugly need not apply.

Two comments: one, I feel very, very sorry for the child that egg will become. Two, 10 bucks says the couple’s not even infertile, they’re just not as smart and attractive as they’d like their kid to be.

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/etc/1209754046.html

Pets,

It’s Auntie Alex, your favorite (legal) heroine. Now, as you know, DC is kind of famous for being a bastion of godless-liberalism. Stuffy suits aside, there’s a spectrum of DC that a lot of people aren’t familiar with. However, times are a-changing. Thankfully, Pride Week has commenced and is going to continue till the 14th. Speaking of which, on the 14th, Rupaul, drag queen extraordinaire, is gracing Town. Obviously, Town is the go-to gay club in DC. I know I’ve walked the walk down there a few times myself with my lovely menfolk companions. Needless to say, your other Editrix and our large crew are planning to attend. You should too. For $10.00 not only do you get to see Rupaul IN THE FLESH, but you get to bear witness to what’s surely going to be a shockingly good time.

Witness true glory.

Be there, or be square.

Xoxo,

Auntie A

Oh, Starbucks. It's the consummate symbol of Corporate America: ubiquitous, overpriced, and not that good.

Take the word of two chicks who take their coffee black: there is much, much better to be found.

The following is a list of your editrixes favorite coffee spots in the DC area, for when you're sick of worshipping the holy shrine of St. Arbucks:

DOLCE (Annandale)

I just discovered this place from a friend, but since I'm moving to Annandale I anticipate it becoming a weekly regular. The place is adorable on the inside–big and spacious and without that boho coffeehouse feel. It's more sleek and classy. The coffee is also really, really good. It's a little expensive–$3.95–but it comes on a glass tray with a madeleine, a square of tiramisu, and a rock candy stirring stick. Aww! A great place for long and inappropriate chats with friends.

7203 Little River Tpke
Annandale, VA 22003

MURKY COFFEE (Arlington)

Oh, the memories. Alex and I had a fond latte in this Arlington coffee ficture after a particularly hilarious and sleepless night in Clarendon. Also not so fond memories of my destined-for-rejection Columbia interview with a frosty bitch who worked for NPR and stared at me with unimpressed eyes as I tried to convince her I was worthy of her Ivy League. BUT ANYWAY. The coffee here is also really good,  and the baristas are some of the best at making pretty designs in your latte froth. Also good for hipster scouting.

There's been buzz about this place closing for a long time–something about tax evasion??–but as far as I know it's still in business.

3211 Wilson Boulevard
Arlington, VA 22201

LE PAIN QUOTIDIEN (Old Town Alexandria)

Ok, ok, this one's a chain, but not nearly as annoying at SB. The quality of everything really good and it's just a perfect place for an intimate chat. On a winter day, go for their hot chocolate (and perhaps a croissant on the side?). It's chocolatey-licious and not sweet so you can add sugar to your liking.

701 King St
Alexandria, VA 22314

STACY'S (Falls Church)

This is one of the only places that offers free Wi-Fi! Coffee and blogging, anyone?? It's also the most cutesy and family-oriented. But that also means they serve their coffee in homey china mugs, and really who can resist that? The prices are great and they also serve breakfast and lunch. They also have a calendar of tons of music and community events. OH HOW CUTE.

709 W Broad St
Falls Church, VA 22046

More to come as we indulge our caffeine addictions further. Tips and suggestions welcome!

Darklings,

It's your leading luminary, Auntie Alex writing from a cubicle in exotic Arlington. Your other editrix, the celebrated superstar, Dame Allie, is running about, living the life we all wish we could have. That harlot.

Anyways, in about two shakes of a lamb's tail I'll be embarking to mysterious Capitol Hill to witness a lovely and revealing hearing. Remember duckies, Auntie A. always gets her educational content done in style, albeit, on a budget. Speaking of which, I'm in a bit of a titchy over the current state of style in this area. I have some qualms with the current 'look' permeating throughout certain crowds. Now, I'm not usually one to pass judgment, but never on God's green earth have I seen such standardized style. My darling afficiandos and afficianadas, what's wrong? Perhaps you're not aware of your shortcomings. Allow me to enlighten you, a la Voltaire in the 18th century.

Uniform #1: Tragique Indie Boy

There you pose, in your Urban Outfitters hoodie, all while simultaneously rambling about how the man has you down. You’re so proud of being tragic and love to promote your lack of interest in anything to everyone. You have no passion, and you’re proud. You ramble on and on about how much you love LCD Soundsystem. You would let Thom Yorke fuck you in the ass. Perhaps that’s why you wear your tight Levis so low on your backside. Oh, you angst-ridden faux-vintage flannel shirt sporting phoney, your idol Holden Caulfield wouldn’t buy in to your bullshit for one second. Here’s a tip- Put away the Nike dunks, UGLY concert shirts (because looking like shit is so ironic, right?), and banish your Nikon from your neck. Maybe then you’ll be just like then men you so wish you could be.

Uniform #2: Insidious Intern.

Aw, you’re so cute. You’re working for NOTHING in the House and think you’re really, really, really special because of it. Oh golly gosh, hopefully in ten years you’ll crack 5 figures when you become a legislative aide. Hell, maybe you’ll make half-a-mil if you sell out and work on K street, but until then, you’re stuck copying. In all seriousness, the worst part about these interns isn’t their holier-than-thou attitude or practiced sneer. No. It’s their style. Not only do these interns insist on wearing pleated pants for their post-pubescent bodies, but they shell out tons of cash at Brooks Brothers (to accessorize with their Rainbow flipflops) to look like le merde. How appalling. They work for nothing and they look like nothing you’d want to bring home to your mummy.

Oh, and darlings—Wearing your badge outside of Capitol Hill isn’t a fashion statement; it’s a fashion felony.

Uniform #3: The Creepy Soccer-Dad Guy on the Metro

You’re one creepy guy. You breathe through your mouth, wear expensive glasses, and look like a soccer dad. Your Lacoste polo is your way of conveying to the world that you have money, and you’re proud of it. Yet, I’m confused—Why are you riding public transportation then, and trying to hit on me? Quel Horreur. Perhaps if you had your own personality, you wouldn’t look like a carbon copy of that older man next to you. Alas. I guess money can’t buy style.

Live it out,

xxxxx AA